I guess the Presidential election season has officially begun. With what we’ve seen to date, the first Tuesday in November can’t come too soon. I know there’s intense feelings on both sides, but I wonder how much of that is from drinking the kool aid rather than thinking things through.
I also wonder what it would be like if we brought the level of political insanity into say a farmers market setting. That might be fun, educational, and since we have nothing better to do right now, why don’t we try it on for size. Here’s a little story about politics and eggplants. I know I’m obsessed with eggplants, but obsessions are hard to break.
Let’s begin. I’ll finish the story next week.
So there’s this vendor that grows really good eggplants. They’re really good that is if you like eggplants. Some people don’t like eggplants. They find them mealy tasting and bitter. Other people just don’t like the color purple, although that’s not the case with Oprah Winfrey. I don’t think Oprah would have starred in a movie by that name if she didn’t. I’m not playing the race card here, I’m just guessing something about Oprah.
Anyway, we have an eggplant vendor growing and selling his (or her) eggplants at a farmers market and pretty much minding his (or her) own business and not thinking too much about it and going home at night and having a beer and watching “Dancing with the Stars” on television.
One day a market customer walked up to the Market Master and said that he represented a likeminded group of customers that were offended by eggplants. Eggplants were once considered poisonous so better safe than sorry. In Washington this person would be considered a lobbyist. At the market he’s simply a concerned citizen speaking for those who are too timid to approach the Market Master and too lazy to do any real research on eggplants.
The Market Master had better things to do with his time and had no upside with this so he told the concerned citizen to go the Market Committee that sorted things like this out. Meanwhile a group of market goers who were big fans of eggplants got wind of the situation and went to the Market Master. Instead of being shuffled off to the Committee, they reminded the Market Master that they were regular market customers, spent a lot of money there and that if they stopped coming, the market could close and the Market Master would be out of a job. They demanded that the Market Master take a firm pro eggplant stand.
The Market Master was no dummy and liked his present job better than his last job which was changing light bulbs at West Farms Mall so he went to his pollster to determine what all the market customers thought. The pollster came back and said the market was evenly divided on the issue. The Market Master then placed a call to his Assistant Market Master.
“I have a job for you”, he said. “I want you to hold a press conference and say that the Market Master likes the color purple and all things purple like grapes and Barney the Dinosaur. If a reporter asks if this includes eggplants, look at the reporter like they haven’t been paying attention and say you’ve already answered that question. While you’re at it, tell everyone that while we really love Jimi Hendrix, we won’t condone any illegal drug activity that might be taken from his classic hit, “Purple Haze”.
After the Assistant had gone and done this job, the Market Master sat back and waited. As he expected, everyone read into the Assistant’s statement what they wanted. Some people thought they had heard an endorsement for eggplants and others pointed out the Assistant never actually said anything about eggplants. Everyone had an opinion except one rapidly aging lonely man from Madison, Connecticut, who just sat staring into his morning coffee and thought back to the time when he split those three hits of purple haze with that bronzed surfer goddess he met while during missionary work for the Mormon Church in Big Sur. He ran his fingers through what was left of his hair and wondered where his youth had gone, when the credit card company was going to call again, and why his coffee mug still melted on occasion.
Now remember the anti-eggplant spokesman who had been sent to plead his case to the Committee? He did what was suggested. The Committee itself was made up of vendors elected by the market customers. Some Committee members sold poultry, some sold flowers, some cheese. There was even a token craftsman that made toaster covers. A number were considered close to the Market Master, but others thought he was a complete failure. Basically it all boiled down to how they each felt about the lighting at West Farms Mall.
Part II next week.
Last Call for the Food Orgy!
If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet for the Connecticut Farmland Trust’s “Celebration of Connecticut Farms” here at Ashlawn Farm on Sunday, then you better get it in gear. This is the biggest foodie event in Connecticut and proceeds go to preserve Connecticut farms. Go to http://www.ctfarmland.org/celebration.html to buy tickets.
For all of you who have asked, the event runs 12 noon to 4:30pm and the dress is "farm casual," whatever that means.
Guest Vendors
There’s a farmers market on Saturday as usual and here are the guest vendors.
Skyspyders is rolling into town with their pottery. Get some pottery while the getting is good.
Pam Fuller is here once again with her wind chimes. We’re getting a little breeze up here on Bill Hill and the chimes never sounded better.
Our friends with Plucky Ducky are showing up and not a moment too soon. It’s school sports season and you need a plucky ducky to find your mommy van in the parking lot.
Diane Earl is being released to appear with her wooden bracelets. I don’t care what she’s done, I think she’s a very nice lady.
Robin Thomas is coming with Peaceable beads. Go see her and give peace a chance.
Lori Neumann will be here with all the stuff she paints on. It could be pumpkins, it could be coolers, it could be anything she fancies.
Julia Leis is making her debut with notecards. Write yourself a note to see what she’s offering.
Farmer's Markets Around The World
Translate this to sharpen your language skills and make this world a little bit smaller: The language this week is Hungarian. Miért nem mondtad, hogy soha gulyás lefordítva "úgy néz ki, mintha valami a macska vetette fel?
Translation last week from Indonesian: If Anthony Bourdain had some, then wrap it up. If Andrew Zimmern liked it, then put it back. If Samantha Brown ordered it, then show me all the pictures you took with your Iphone
See you in the field!
